I don't know what role I have to play in all of this yet. I don't exactly know how I feel about gun control, other than believing we need to really investigate some sort of change. I don't know how I can personally help the effort in improving research on metal illness, although you can be sure I'll be on the lookout. I have this volunteer group with the kids but I don't see how we can include our young children in the effort without telling them what happened and I'm certainly NOT going to do that. So, I'm still figuring out how I can help in the big picture but am trying to continue to contribute to my little world here.
After I read the news on Friday, I logged off the computer and took stock of the day ahead. I was supposed to get some cleaning done to get ready for Nathan's parents' visit, write out a grocery list, etc....then I noticed that the keyboard Zoe and I had talked about dismantling was still sitting next to me, completely intact. A couple of weeks earlier, she had noticed one of the keys making an interesting sound and was asking why it was acting that way. I told her we could take it apart to investigate (it's an extra) and she was really excited to, but we just weren't getting to it. In that moment, as I tried not to imagine the horror in the faces of the victims, I realized that taking that keyboard apart with Zoe and ditching the cleaning was exactly what I had to do.
So, we got started....and we worked at it here and there over the course of a few days....she must have said "Mommy, this is SO fun!" and "Mommy, I love doing this so much!" 20+ times....we not only took the thing apart, keys and all, but we managed to put it all together again too....minus a few pieces, but it's reassembled and the keys are clicking away again. I know there's a metaphor in there but I'm afraid I'll ruin it if I try to spell it out. Maybe you can do it for me...or for yourselves...
|Discovering what all of those little dots do...|
|Trying to dig even deeper|
|Taking off the keys--the toughest part|
|This was as far as we could go without some heavy duty not-for-children-or-inexperienced mothers tools|
|Finding a system for putting the keys back in the right places|
|Last key! We put the cover back on and everything. We were both equally proud, happy and satisfied.|