How To Be A Parent

My brother Wally and sister-in-law Katie are expecting their first baby this summer, and they had their baby shower today.  We are too far away to make it to events like that unfortunately, but I sent along this little gift to them.  A few months ago, I asked as many parents as possible to ask their kids some questions about parenting/babies/kids and put the answers that were sent back to me together in a little book for Katie and Wally.  Thank you to all of the parents who took the time to ask their kids these questions--hope you enjoy it!

HoW tO bE a PAreNt

-bY kIdS

What's the most important thing a new parent needs to know?

“Take good care of the baby” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Treat the baby nicely and take care of it” (William from UT, age 6)

“How to feed a baby. Parents need to decide if they want to breastfeed or nurse them with a bottle.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“The most important thing a new parent needs to know is that the child will always love you no matter what.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“To feed it.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Give them the binky.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“To take care of their baby.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“How to take care of their children and how to keep their house safe.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“I don't know, what?” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“That their kids are safe,” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“That they need to buy Legos when their kids ask them to.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“They need to know about superheroes.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“To be married.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“They need to know about kissing and hugging.” (James from Germany, age 3)

 “Poop…Baby has poop….Change her diaper….I feed her a little bit too. I put her bottle too. I warm it up…. I need to know Mommy and Daddy change her diaper…. My baby is pooping right now…She has no teeth….My baby is crying too…Blue pants with stars. They pee and poop. That is all about babies…No. There is more about babies….She poop.” (Sagan from NJ, 27 months)

“To say please & don't forget food” (Will from GA, age 4)

What should you do if your kid is having trouble in school?

“Call somebody or go pick them up.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Try to teach them math and reading at home.” (William from UT, age 6)

“Tell the teacher.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“I would tell the teacher and say, 'Please help my child with the hard stuff'” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“If your child is having trouble in school you should first find out what they are struggling with and talk with the teacher to see if maybe they could help. You should also help at their school to see if you can help with anything.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Help you.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Go back home.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Help  him or her.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Watch the teacher nothing's so you will remember.” (Lilah from , age 5)

“Ask a teacher to help.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“You should just help them.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“Tell them to be nice.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Give a spanking.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“Clean the fish tank.” (Owen from CO, age 2)

“Talk to them about it.” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“Help them.” (Will from GA, age 4)
       

What should you do if your kid isn't getting along with a friend?

“Pick them up and say, ‘You have to be nice to your friend!’” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Teach them how to make friends better.” (William from UT, age 4)

“I would say, let’s figure something out or let’s play something else.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“I would tell their Mom or a teacher and they would help them stop fighting.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“If your child isn't making friends with anyone else you could talk with them about why are their friends troubling them or ask them why they feel left out and give them advice.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Ask an adult.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Ask them what their name is.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Talk with your kid.” ( Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Get along with others tell them they are sorry.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“Tell him to find another friend to play with.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“Say, ‘You don't have to play with that friend, you can play with another one.’" (Colin from PA, age 4)

“To go along with them.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Discipline them.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“Ask them not to do that.” (Will from GA, age 4)

What should you do if your kid has a messy room?

“Help them clean it up.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Tell them to clean it up and talk nicely to them to tell them.” (William from UT, age 6)

“I would make them clean it up all by themselves.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“I would tell them to clean their room and not to come down until they are done.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“I would tell my kids to go clean their rooms and give them three examples of why they need to. For example: 1) because if there was ever an emergency the emergency people couldn't get to you fast 2) because they sleep in there and it’s like their house they would want to keep their house clean 3) because it would be easier to find their stuff when its organized and put away.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Ask us to clean it.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Clean it up.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Help him or her pick it up or, if they want to do it by themselves, let them do it by themselves.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Have them tidy it up.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“Sit him on the step until they are ready to clean up.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“Play fast music so I clean up my room faster.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“Clean them up.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Clean it up.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“Clean up. They go in here. Toy box. My bears do not go in my toy box.” (Sagan from NJ, 27 months)

“Make them clean up.” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“Clean it.” (Will from GA, age 4)

What should you do if your kid is throwing a tantrum?

“Help cheer them or do balloon breathing (deep breaths)” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Try to talk to them about it and ask them what is the matter.” (William from UT, age 6)

“I would put him in timeout for a cool down.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“I would tell them to cool down.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“If my kid was having a tantrum I would ask them why there were having a tantrum and I would work something out with them, like make a deal.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Tell us to stop.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Take a nap.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Try to calm them down, but if they are already calming down just talk about why they were throwing the fit or tell them why they can’t buy that for them.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Send them to time out, try to calm them down, or just give them what they want.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“I not having a tantrum.” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“Calm down.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“Ask another Mom or Dad for help.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“Say, ‘Hey, I don't like that, can you please stop?’" –Colin from PA, age 4)

“Spank them.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Spank them.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“You pick your baby up.” (Sagan from NJ, 27 months)

“Throw a ball at them.” (Owen from CO, age 2)

“Tell them to stop.” (Will from GA, age 4)

What should you do if your kid won’t eat their supper?

“Tell them they will be hungry.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Try to give them something and tell them you will give them something if they eat their food.” (William from UT, age 6)

“I would let them starve.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“I would say, 'Eat your supper or you're grounded.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“If my child wouldn't eat supper I'd make a game out of it, like if they like trains I would pretend that the food was a choo-choo train and it was going into their mouth like a tunnel.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Eat your supper or no treat.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“The mommy and daddy should eat it with them.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Say, ‘If you eat your supper you will grow big and strong, like us’” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Nothing!” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“To have them try it and see if they like it and maybe they will eat it all up.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“Clear their plate if they don't eat more than one thing.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“Just eat it, because you won't get hungry in the night and wake up mommy and daddy asking for bananas.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“NO dessert!!” (Nell from PA, age 3)

“Spank them.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“The parents should eat it.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“You go upstairs.” (Sagan from NJ, 27 months)

“Tell them they won't get desert.” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“Say please.” (Will from GA, age 4)

What should you do if your kid had a bad day?

 “Help cheer them up.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Talk to them about it.” (William from UT, age 6)

“I would give them ice cream!” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“I would buy them something that they wanted.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“If they had a bad day I'd give them some advice about making tomorrow a better day.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Talk to us.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Ask a teacher or go in time out.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Say that we’ll try to make it a better day tomorrow.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Try to figure out what happened. Give them hugs and kisses. Try to soothe them and help them feel better.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“Go to sleep.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“Read a book to them. I like when my Mom does that.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“Cuddle. It makes everything feel better.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“Help them.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Discipline the other kids (the ones that made it a bad day)” (James from Germany, age 3)

“Help.” (Will from GA, age 4)
 

What do kids like to do for fun?

 “Shoot foxes and rabbits- actually that's a bad thing to do and I never do that and I would never go out in the woods by myself because something might try to eat me and it’s not nice to do either.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Play Wii and play in their room.” (William from UT, age 6)

“Go to playdates.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“Kids like to play on their electronics, have friends over and go with their Mom and Dad to different places and visit their cousins.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“Kids like to go to amusement parks for fun-like six flags!” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Go to Dad’s basketball games, practices and play basketball.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Go to the children’s museum.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“PLAY!” (Ellie from NY, age 3)

“Go to the carousel.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Ummmmm GO ON THE CAROUSEL!” (Owen from CO, age 2)

“Go places and play at recess with their friends.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“Play. With toys. And watch TV.” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“Play.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“Play with new friends.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“For fun, I like to go to the playground.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“I like to go to the Please Touch Museum (Children's museum in Philadelphia)” (Nell from PA, age 3)

“Play games.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Have alone time.” (James from Germany, age 3)

-I like to hold my baby Ellis (her doll) and (play with) doctor toys.” (Sagan from NJ, 27 months)

“Ride bikes and play with friends.” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“Play.” (Will from GA, age 4)

What's the one thing you think kids like to do the least?

 “Sitting around doing homework.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“Have my mom tell me I can't play Wii.” (William from UT, age 6)

“CLEAN.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“Kids don't like to clean their room or the family room.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“Kids don't like to eat their vegetables on their plates at dinner time!” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Doing math.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Go outside when it’s cold.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Rain, rain go away (stay inside when it’s raining) and when Mommy says ‘No’” (Ellie from NY, age 3)

“Having a fight.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“C’ean my p’ayin’ stuff up!” (Owen from CO, age 2)

“Be by themselves in dark places.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“Go to their beds without mommies and daddies.” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“Play fairy and princesses.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“I don't like to sit around.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“I don't like to hide in caves, because those are dark places.” (Nell from PA, age 3)

“Not ride on someone’s foot.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Singing songs.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“Clean their room.” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“Go to school. “ (Will from GA, age 4)

What should parents do if THEY are having a bad day?

“Have a mighty eagle step in to help them (angry bird reference)” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“A child could help try to cheer them up.“ (William from UT, age 6)

“They should do something fun like maybe ask one of their friends if they want to go out.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“If parents are having a bad day try to keep it inside of you and not yell at your children and take it out on your children. Try to be calm. Maybe they should put the children down for a nap and watch a movie.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Ask another adult to help.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“Take a nap.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Count to 4.  If you’re so mad and you’re so ANGRY. If you feel MAD, take a deep breath and count to 4: 1…2…3…4” (Ellie from NY, age 3)

“Put the baby down in the crib to rest.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“Go outside.” (Owen from CO, age 2)

“They should get a hug and forget about it. Oh, and what happens at work stays at work!” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“I dunno. Be mad?” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“Just get hugs” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“Calm down and take deep breaths.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“Go back to your bed and go to sleep.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“You should go sit in a corner and talk to no one.” (Colin from PA, age 4 and Nell from PA, age 3)

“Just relax.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“I don't know.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“You go upstairs. Mommy can go upstairs. (to play with toys)” (Sagan from NJ, 27 months)

“Have coffee.” (Will from GA, age 4)

Should kids be allowed to drive cars?  Why or why not?

 “No because they might crash the car and the car would be broken and they would have to pay for it and waste all their money and they wouldn't have enough so the mom and dad would have to waste their money.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“No because they don't know how and they might crash and kill themselves.“ (William from UT, age 6)

“No (haha) because they're too little and they don't have their driving lessons.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“Kids should not be able to drive cars because they could crash because they couldn't reach the pedal or see over the window” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“No kids shouldn't be allowed to drive cars because they're not done growing so they wouldn't be the right height. Kids don't understand as much as grownups and they don't take things as seriously as grownups do so they could crash the car.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“No, because we're not old enough.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“No. Because it is too hard.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“Yes!  Cuz I could DO it.  If I get bigger. I have to be bigger like my Daddy and my Mama ‘fore I could drive, and I not big enough.” (Ellie from NY, age 3)

“No because they might get hurt.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“No, because mommies drive cars.” (Owen from CO, age 2)

“No because they are smaller and won't be able to see out by the window and they could crash. It wouldn't be safe.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“No! They would push the wrong button!” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“No because they will bump into something.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“No because they aren't old enough yet.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“No! Because they don't know how! That is silly!” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“Kids should be in carseats and not touch the steering wheel.” (Nell from PA, age 3)

“No. Because they're not big enough to see over the wheel.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“No. Because they're still just little!” (James from Germany, age 3)

“NO. No I cannot drive the car to the park. I can’t drive Mommy’s car. It’s Mommy’s car. Sometimes I drive.” (Sagan from NJ, 27 months)

“No, because they don't have a license and can't drive,” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“No, because they are too little.” (Will from GA, age 4)

What is the hardest thing about having a new baby around?

“It will try eating little legos if you have some so you have to keep the legos in your room so the baby can't get them.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“To try being a bigger brother.” (William from UT, age 6)

“They cry.” (Eleanor from CT, age 5)

“Babies can get in your way. Like they can be right in front of you when you're trying to get there.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“The hardest thing about having a baby around is that they're not old enough to pick up and they make a big mess and you have to pick it up. AND they wake up in the middle of the night and you have to wake up too.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“Changing his diaper.” (Ryan from VT, age 6)

“It’s too hard putting it asleep.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“It’s harder to get around the house and when you’re talking to someone, they make it harder because they’re crying.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“The sibling could get angry because the mother is paying attention to the baby and not to them and they want the mother and the baby wants the mother and then you will have two screaming fests in the house.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“If they cry - boring!” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“Not doing anything with the baby.” (Lilah from FL , age 5)

“They cry.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“I think it is hard to get them to eat pineapple.” (Colin from PA, age 4)

“When the baby hits me.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“You have to go the hospital, and then the baby drinks a lot of milkies (nursing), hard.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“Buying all the diapers and cleaning their butt.” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“Taking care of it all the time.” (Will from GA, age 4)

What is the best thing about having a new baby around?

“That you can play with him and you can hurt him and he won't even get hurt.” (Adam from UT, age 4)

“He kind of plays with you sometimes.” (William from Utah, age 6)

“They are cute and fun to play with.” (Jack from CT, age 7)

“The best thing about having a baby around is they are so cute and it’s just fun to teach them things. ya... it’s fun to watch them grow.” (Alexa from CT, age 10)

“You can swaddle it up in a blankie.” (Amara from OR, age 4)

“That you can play with them and have fun.” (Zoe from CO, age 5)

“They are cute and cuddly and nice to be around. You can teach them things.” (Eva from NY, age 8)

“They are fun.” (Lennon from NY, age 3)

“Playing, feeding, watching it.” (Lilah from FL, age 5)

“Getting to go to McDonald's alone with my Dad and play in the Play Place.  That's what happened when Verity come out of Mom's tummy.” (Hunter from CO, age 5)

“You can dance with them.” (Nixon from VT, age 4)

“Playing with her.” (James from Germany, age 3)

“My baby is crying right now.” (Sagan from NJ, 27  months)

“That you get to have a new child.” (Taylor from GA, age 6)

“Playing with it.” (Will from GA, age 4)